Friday, August 10, 2012

I'm a corper, NOT your plaything: Part 2... GTFOHWTBS!

Heeeeeey berryful people!

Isn't it such a pretty day outside? It's not raining, the sun is out, the temperature's just right, the sky is blue, birds are chirping, a TDH (tall, dark, and handsome) knight on a white horse is... ok, enough with the daydreaming. The skies are grey, and there is no knight in sight - hey, I rhymed.

So it looks like someone in my office didn't get my last memo on the topic above (click HERE if you missed it). I was quite offended by a proposition last weekend and it may not necessarily have to do with my being a corper, but wa'ev, I'm a LADY and expect proper behavior from others.

Here's the background of the story.

There's this guy at work who started a couple of months after I did. He is Jean-Claude Van DAMN FOINE! He's tall, dark, handsome, walks with this air (I refuse to say 'swag' but that's what it is), dresses nice, etc. So, I've been scoping him secretly for months now. It's really bad. Like I'd see him across the road and I'd get butterflies in my tummy and my heart would race #DISASTER! After a while, we got to smiling at each other in passing. I mostly saw him during lunch time and he'd always be with his friends, one of whom I got to saying hello to - *Please note: NOTHING BEYOND HELLO! I eventually got around to speaking to TDH last month, and we just did minimal introductions (My name is... I work in this dept...I grew up here/there...Nice meeting you...See ya around).

So last Friday, I went to lunch - none of my friends were around, and I was all by myself :(. BUT guess who was having lunch too... Mr. TDH himself, and his friend. I got all brave and decided to sit with them and chat for a little bit. During our brief chat, his friend introduced himself and found out we live barely 5 minutes away from each other. They asked what I do for fun - and TDH said they were celebrating his friend's birthday later that evening at a club and invited me to join them. I said they should let me know when/where and his friend got my number so he could send the details later that evening.

I already had plans that evening, and while I was out with someone-who-shall-remain-nameless (if you see this post, don't start sulking!), TDH's friend sent a message saying I should meet them up at some club. My nameless-friend and I got there, but it was crowded and we left the vicinity so I could be home during godly hours (stop laughing, nameless person!).

*Now here's the point of the story*

At about X:30am (does anybody really need to know what time I got home?) right as soon as I was dropped off, my phone rings and it's TDH's friend.

Him: Hey Berry, what happened? Why didn't you show up?
Me: Well, the place was crowded, and I was tired anyways. Maybe next time.
Him: Well I was REALLY looking forward to partying with you.
Me: Erm...ok, sawry *insert BB straight face smiley here*
Him: Since you didn't come, how about I come pick you up and you can spend the night at my house.
Me: *cough cough* EXCUSE ME?!? What for?
Him: Come on now, we're both adults and you look like a "fun" girl.
Me: I don't think so.
Him: Ah ah now. Why not?
Me: I barely know you. We only just properly met today.
Him: How can you say that? I've been knowing you for a long time. (lol @ knowing)
Me: Not really. We didn't even know each other's names before this afternoon.
Him: No matter, like I said, you look like a "fun" girl, so let me come and pick you up.
Me: I'm pretty sure I already told you NO. I don't know you well enough to be in your house alone at all, so why in the heck would I come at this time?
Him: WOW! I'm really surprised at your answer o. I was thinking you're a "fun" girl and we can spend some time together. I'm disappointed that you're acting this way.
Me: ENH?! WHAT THE HELL KINDA GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM?!?! You know what? I'm going to bed. Good night. *click*

I'm sorry, but what exactly is a "FUN" girl? Did I miss an important memo? Since when does having/being fun include spending the night in a strange man's house? Well, I'm quite ticked off that I've lost any and all admiration of TDH - I've deemed him guilty by association :p

Dear gentlemen readers, please treat females honorably. It goes a long way in this day and age of morons.

Dear lady readers, if anybody treats you stupidly, tell them to GTFOHWTBS!!!

Signed and approved by,
Your Berryness.


  1. lmao!! hes looking for who hes going to give an STD to ?? pigs!! let him go look for a "fun" girl somewhere else.

  2. Lolol. I guess I'm not a "fun girl". Smh though

  3. Hahaha.. Where was this?........ Don't mind them joooor mtcheeew

  4. hey choco latte, nameless abi, i will kick you out of the window, cakes

  5. This is really hilarious I swear @knowing lol...I'm gonna follow this blog •. And nominate ya for Nigeria Blog Award