Time to report to NYSC CAMP!!!

Hey y'all!

Call-up letters have been picked up, and corpers have started reporting to their various camps. As per usual, a LOT of people would have been disappointed when they read where they were posted to - they're also probably scrambling to get their posting "fixed." Ah, the joys of NYSC. :)

Anyway, new corpers started heading to camp yesterday, June 25th. It's earlier than usual, as Batch B camp typically starts the first week of July. In any case, they've started reporting to camp and dealing with the stress of registration, getting a bed, finding and registering at your platoon, feigning communicable diseases so they can be exempted from camp, looking for mami market, etc.

My advice to you is to just relax, take it easy, and pray to God for divine patience because you'll need it. If you haven't already read my experience, the following links should give you a clear idea of what to expect.

1. Guide to surviving NYSC Camp: What to Bring
2. Guide to surviving NYSC Camp: What NOT to Bring
3. Guide to surviving NYSC Camp: Arrival
4. Guide to surviving NYSC Camp: Platoon Registration and Accommodation

While in there, make sure you choose your Community Development Service wisely. I may actually need to make a post for the how to select the best CD for you...

I wish you all the best of luck. Try to have fun. :D

Berry.

Tales from Camp!

Soooooo, I've got a friend who's currently serving in Akure. I know her from the US and the last time I saw her, she was waaaaaaaaaaay excited about moving back to Nigeria and coming to serve. She's the one whose room in camp I put up in an earlier post.

Well she's got more pics for me to share with you. Like I said, during the daytime, when there are activities, camp can be fun. Even at night with the different events - drama competitions, talent competitions, pageants and more. Or just going to Mami Market to cool off with a hot, freshly cooked meal and some drinks and music.

Byyyyyyyyy the right

Platoon Number X, forwarrrrrd march!

Slooooooooow march!

Oodles of Noodles with Plantain, Egg and Turkey. Sure beats the camp-provided meals, which I never ate.

Cultural Dance Competition



Man-O-War Activity



Miss NYSC Camp - Akure

I don't miss camp. But I had some interesting times. Thanks Miss Loooooooooooms for the pictures. You're almost outta there!

Biiiiiiiiiiig waaaaaarm HUG from me! I give really good hugs - well, guys say I do.

Berry!

So I passed out from NYSC: Miss Tomi's Post-NYSC Interview

Hiya BooBerries!

I've got an exit interview from one of my friends who I met on my last day of camp. She turned out to be in the same Local Government as I was, so it was easy to get her to do an interview for me. In fact, she was WAY excited to do it, so here goes... Wait, before we go there, VOTE for me as TUTORIAL BLOG OF THE YEAR on Nigerian Blog Awards!


1. State your aje-butter credentials, according to Berry’s definition.

Hi guys! My name is Tomi, my aje-butter credentials which are not too aje butterish are: born and raised in Nigeria :D, regular summer jaunts, college in America, total time in obodo oyimbo was about 5 years and I hauled my ass back here to serve my wonderful country.

2. How would you summarize your NYSC experience from start to finish?

OMGGGG NYSC was crazy but amazing! There were times when I wanted to cry, times when I did cry and times when I had the best laughs. It was a struggle but I'm proud I did it.

3. What, if anything, did you learn during your NYSC year? Personally and/or career-wise?

Personally, I learnt that I am a really strong person, I don't know how to word that but there were some challenges I faced at work and in my personal life that I didn't think I would overcome. My grandpa died right before NYSC was supposed to start and I was soooo close to pulling out, but I didn't. Career wise, NYSC helped me realize that I do have a lot to offer; granted, school doesn't teach you how to deal with the real world but certain skills that I acquired at college put me ahead.

4. What are your personal views on the relevance of NYSC in Nigeria currently?

NYSC is relevant in the sense that it gives you a form of a gap year to develop yourself personally and professionally. During my NYSC, I took bead making classes which help me draw in some extra income, I became a distributor of Federico Mahora products and I started up my jewelry business. It's great to have that time to start a side hustle, lol. The only reason why I would say NYSC is irrelevant in Nigeria today is because of how poorly organized it is. People say they would rather spend that year trying to hustle but the hustle doesn't always work out and it's nice to have that N19,800 allowance from NYSC as fall back money.

5. Why did you decide to go through NYSC?

I decided to go through NYSC because in the long run, I want to be in Nigeria and I didn't want to have to start dealing with NYSC at a later age. I was very "Don't come back to Naij when you leave" but in junior/third year, I had the opportunity to come back and work and I realized that Nigeria had sooo much to offer so I quickly changed my plans.

6. What was your experience like in camp? Favorite/worst memories?

I was in Lagos camp and it was crazzzzzzzy!!!! LOOOL all the "big boys and girls", I was in camp for 13 days (had to leave for gramps burial) and I got sick once but it was cool beans. My FAAAAVE memory in camp was indomie and Heineken every night... I had a vendor guy there, and the moment he saw me approaching, a nice cold Heineken was gleaming at me!!! Haha, I also enjoyed the "Fayrouz club," which was a tent with a good DJ. I was in a room with some amazing ladies. Honestly, Lagos camp was on a different level with the drunken nights annnd the Mr. Macho competition?? Eye Candy Galore. My WORST memory was frog jumping from one end of the parade ground to the other end but it was fun when I saw some other people rolling on the floor. I really didn't mind waking up early and marching on the parade ground.

7. What would you change in the NYSC program?

The organization sucks major asssss! Instead of having to take a letter to do clearance every month, I would have a portal for supervisors at work to enter some form of attendance for corpers and certify that the corpers have been coming to work.

8. What CD group did you join, and was the experience worthwhile?

I was in the Education CD group and it was ok. I only taught like 4 times because a lot of times, my girls weren't at school due to different reasons so after a while I just let it go.

9. Do you have any advice for incoming aje-butter corpers?

Oh man, incoming aje-butters, dust up your agbero skills because they will come in handy. Try to do things on time and always keep in touch with your LGI or a fellow corper who always has all the latest news. Have a decent attitude about NYSC and try and make the most of it. Definitely try and acquire a skill during your service year and network like a crazy person. Pride won't take you too far as a corper but also don't kiss everyone's ass.

10. What are your plans post-NYSC?

I want to keep working for a year before I go back for grad school; definitely want to take a break for about a month and see my Chicago babies and I'm still making beads and selling them and being a distributor for FM. Watch out for Lúlú accessories in December.

Bonus question: What are you going to do with your NYSC uniform/kit?

LOOOOOL, ok so once I got my certificate and walked outta camp, the moment I got to the car, I took off my jungle boots and left them on the side of the road. My khakis and jacket are stashed at the back of my closet, no plans for those yet.

Thanks for interviewing me!!! Kisses and love
Tomilola Olotu

*PS: So Tomi was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad girl! No wonder I didn't meet her until camp was over. Me, miss goody-two-shoes and she as Miss Mami Market :p. Just kidding! Wish you all the best sweetie!

So I passed out from NYSC - Mimikins' Interview

Hey y'all,

Congratulations to all the 2011 Batch B Corps Members who successfully passed out from NYSC on Thursday, June 14th! I wish you all well and trying hard not to be jealous of you. I was supposed to be in your batch but somehow convinced myself to postpone serving - #AlwaysListenToYourMummyWhenSheSaysToServeWith2011BatchB.

Anyways, like the last time, I've interviewed someone near and dear to me on her NYSC experience. Mimikins, as I fondly call her, served in Abuja and this is what she had to say...

1. State your aje-butter credentials, according to Berry's definition. (See my definition here: Aje-Butter Definition)
   I was born and bred in London up until I was 23. Would say I came from a comfortable home, no complaints. We didn't have maids or cooks, etc because we don't do such in London, but I am your full aje-butter child... Well I was :-)
   
   
2. How would you summarize your NYSC experience from start to finish?
   It was a smooth but bumpy ride. Don't regret it but wouldn't want to repeat it.
   
   
3. What, if anything, did you learn during your NYSC year? Personally and/or career-wise?
   Career-wise, I learnt that I NEVER EVER want to become a civil servant! Gosh! They all look so miserable, that can't be me! Personally, I learnt how to adapt to the 'Nigerian way' of life, which is totally different to the UK. And I think I adapted quite well :-)
   
   
4. What are your personal views on the current relevance of NYSC in Nigeria?
   I may get attacked for this, but I think NYSC is good for foreign-trained students, particularly those who have spent most of their life outside Nigeria. It's a totally different system and we must learn how to adapt because whether we like it or not, this is our country! And NYSC forces you to adapt. Aside that, I don't see the relevance of NYSC anymore.
   
   
5. Why did you decide to go through NYSC?
   I didn't decide to go through NYSC by choice. Came to visit my mum one christmas and she somehow convinced me to stay back in Nigeria and 'serve my country,' lol.
   
   
6. What was your experience like in camp? Favorite/worst memories?
   I absolutely loved camp!!! Not for the drills or anything because I didn't do any of that. But for the fun times with friends, the friends I made there. Mammy market at night made it that more exciting too, all those drunken moments, lol. My worst memories would probably be the cold water showers, before I discovered the woman that boils hot water, and of course, the toilet situation...
   
   
7. What would you change about the NYSC program?
   Increase the nysc allowance according to where you're posted to. And change the attitude of those bitchy NYSC officials - we didn't force you to take the job.
   
   
8. What CD group did you join, and was the experience worthwhile?
   I was made to join the Consumer Protection Council CDS group, and no, it wasn't worthwhile at all.
   
   
9. Do you have any advice for incoming aje-butter corpers?
   I'll advice my fellow aje-butters coming to serve to learn humility. I was disgusted at the attitudes of some of the foreign-trained students - acting as if they were better than people who schooled in Nigeria, disrespecting their elders, etc. Humility is worldwide, and should be practiced everywhere you go. Another piece of advice - make sure you're fully protected against malaria, and don't drink water you're not sure of. Depending on how long the soon-to-be corper has been out of the country, their body may not be used to the environment again, so protect yourself.
   
   
10. What are your plans post-NYSC?
    Still undecided whether to stay in Nigeria or go back to London for a bit. Time will tell I guess.
    
    
11. Bonus question: What are you going to do with your NYSC uniform/kit?
    Was thinking of burning my corper uniform, but may give it to someone in my village :-)
    
    
    

And there we have it! Congrats again Mimikins!!! I wish you all the best as you move forward with your life.

*Note* I was not there by that time, regarding her comment about bitchy NYSC officials o. I LOVE ALL NYSC officials, and I'm not saying that only because I don't want to be caught and given unnecessary drama when it's my turn to pass out in October *insert BB straight face smiley*

Hugs n kisses,
Berry.

Sex and NYSC Camp!!!

Sawryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

I recently had some bad and good drama in my life, so I've kinda been out of it, hence my silence. BUT I'm back now, and I have my friend 'Tones' to thank for reminding me to post.

At this point, Batch A 2012 Corpers have been in camp for about two weeks, and I can tell you that they're either having bunches of fun or sick and tired of camp and can't wait for it to be over. By now, chances are that a larger number of the corpers have established a rapport with individuals of the opposite sex in camp (fellow corpers, soldiers, officials, etc) and are becoming bolder in exhibiting certain behaviors. By 'certain' I mean RANDY, and by behaviors I mean 'intercoursourial.' (Yes, I made up a word... sue me)

Can I just put it out there that...

1. I have no idea why anyone would want to engage in sex of any kind in camp!?!?!? Any NYSC camp is generally filthy, so whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, for the love of hygienic sex, why??? 
2. Any corper who has sex in camp is quite creative! In my camp (Lagos), my new friends and I tried to imagine where any such activities could/would take place. You see, there's relatively no privacy, so anyone who has the imagination to find a secluded spot, should be given an A for effort, if nothing else.
3. The camp officials and soldiers are probably hornier than all the corpers combined!!! Ok, so you're giving us lectures on Safe Sex, but must you be SO excited about it? Honestly, I don't care to see you move your body in sexually suggestive motions simply because you want to explain how to put on a condom. *rolls eyes* OMG, one of the soldiers who was in charge of our drills and physical activity was CRAZY! He always, ALWAYS made us roll our hips from side to side and would instruct us as so:

"Roll your body, rouuuuuuuund and rouuuuuuund, move your hips.....front and back....

and all the girls say "Ahhhhh, Ahhhhh!"

Dude! WTH?????

Anyways, I heard a couple of stories during camp... Oops, did I mention this post is rated 18+? Not that I go into graphic details, but far be it from me to encourage bad boys and girls *insert BB angel smiley*

I've mentioned Mami Market a couple of times in previous posts. Well, apparently, not only can you go there to get a hot meal, drinks, etc... You can also rent a "room" for your "show-me-yours-and-i'll-show-you-mine" activities. I wish I had pictures of Lagos Mami Market, but I have no idea what part of it would have housed the said rooms. I heard they were somewhere in the back, but it's all bushes there, so I dunno. And even then, like are there beds? Do they supply protection? How much does it cost to get a room? Are they rented out by the hour, half-hour, minute? :p

For those who couldn't afford the above-mentioned rooms, there were other options. For instance, I heard that a soldier caught a female orally pleasuring her male partner in his nether regions, on the PARADE GROUND! Mind you, this is an open field or space. Maybe they were drunk cos this made no sense to me. Anyways, the soldier made them continue while he brought out his phone and took pictures. He allegedly made them pay him money so that he wouldn't circulate the pictures. Of course he still showed the pictures around. *Ahem, I shan't comment on whether or not I saw said photographs* What do you think? :)

One night, just as we were getting ready for 'Lights Out,' the female hostel erupted in screams and shouts. Of course, everyone was eager to see what the ruckus was - apparently a guy had sneaked into our hostel for a late-night rendezvous with the object of his affection. For whatever reason, they decided that under one of the staircases was a good hiding point... WRONG! Someone caught them and started shouting, which caused excitement in the hostel. Unfortunately, most of the girls were punished that night because they were too excited to go back to bed. Luckily, my roommates locked our door, and we pretended we'd been asleep the whole time. 

I dunno if you've heard anything about Camp Fire/Bonfire Night. This, I've been told, is when the real freakiness comes out. Again, it's also hearsay to me, because my goody-two shoes self went to bed early during our Camp Fire night. This camp event is usually closer to the end of the 3 weeks, and most people look forward to it because it's one huge party and it's the one night we're allowed to stay awake past 10pm. Seeing as "the freaks come out at night" you can only imagine what goes on in different parts of camp, especially since the camp officials and soldiers are too busy with the bonfire. Ours was done in the open space in the middle of Mami Market. By 10pm, vendors have pretty much shut down and left their stalls for the day. Well, one noodles woman came back to check on her stall, and guess what she saw - yup, two corpers going at it... ON HER STOVE!!!! LOL, poor thing. I hope she used a whole bottle of Dettol to wipe it down the following morning. I sure as heck wasn't going to eat noodles anymore after that episode.

 I know it's a given that in any camp, corpers are having "relations" with other corpers, soldiers, camp officials and whoever else. But really though, is it that serious? Like, you can't go 3 weeks without sex? Really? You know what though? A friend of mine in camp said one of her roommates frequently "helped herself out" and got beaten up and kicked out of the room. Looks like you're doomed whether it's solo or partnered relations.

Moral of the stories are: STAY AWAY FROM NYSC CAMP SEX! 

Goody-Two-Shoesly yours,

Berry!

*side hug today, and no kisses*

Best wishes to 2012 Batch A Corpers!!!

Hey y'all.

So a brand new set of corpers are about to begin their 12-moth NYSC journey starting tomorrow. I just want to give you last-minute words of advice as you enter into camp and get started on this adventure!

1. First things first, for those of you that have not yet located where your camps are, visit NYSC State Locations
2. Don't forget what you can and can't bring/buy (See my prior post here:  What to Bring and What NOT to Bring)
3. If you have medicines that you usually take (for headaches, allergies, cramps, asthma, etc), please take them with you. The clinics aren't nearly as stocked as they claim to be.
4. Don't spend all your time at mami market. It gets old really quickly. Although I heard some people just go there to maintain a buzz or stay drunk to cope with camp...
5. Don't break any bones during your Man 'O' War activities! 
6. Keep your eyes/ears open for any Community Development activities you may be interested in. Note that if you don't pick one at the end of the day, your Local Government Inspector's office will choose one randomly for you. 
7. Don't be afraid! Trust me, if I could manage 21 days in there, anybody can do it. Bring your A-game and slaughter any preconceived softie notions about you.
8. Please please please, don't go to camp and embarrass us "foreigners" and claim that you can't do any work. I'll just ban you from readying my blog *insert BB uninterested smiley!
9. DO NOT HAVE any form of sexual intercourse!!! I see you laughing, but I'm not joking. #1. It's freaking FILTHY in camp. #2. If you're caught, the story will get around and yours might be one of the stories I write about in my "Sex and NYSC Camp" post. I've warned you...
10. HAVE FUN! Don't be uptight. Be willing to mingle and make friends. You'll definitely need at least one person to gripe about camp with.
11. BRING GIST BACK FOR ME!!! Mostly cos I want to post them :)

That about covers it. By the time you come out, I'd have put up a post on what to do next after you leave camp. Best wishes and I can't wait to hear your stories!

Berry hugs and kisses!

Day and Night in NYSC Camp

Hello pretty people!

Today I want to address the typical day and night in NYSC Camp. In my experience, the days were much easier to handle than the nights - I will explain at the end of this post.

Day
3:00am - 4:00am: This is when the the average day in camp starts (yikes!). At this time, you will begin to stir from sleep because your roommates have started waking up, rushing to bathe and use the bathroom before the rush of people at 4:00am.


4:00am - 5:00am: About 90% of the camp is awake by now, and lines begin to form to bathe, brush your teeth, and whatever bathroom needs you have (yuck!). Also at this time, the blasted OBS (Orientation Broadcasting System) team begins their daily broadcast. They start off with the Nigerian Anthem, then the NYSC Anthem, and whoever's on duty makes way too much noise about how it's time to wake up and get ready for Early Morning Meditation and Drills. Since they are a radio station, you will be subject to whatever music they decide to play... Much to my chagrin, the OBS team in my batch favored Mariah Carey and Celine Dion - No, my heart does NOT want to go on, you wicked people!
Everyone starts to assemble on the parade ground by 4:30am. Truthfully, most people get to the parade ground  by 4:55am, just in time for...

5:00am - 7:30am: Early Morning Meditation, Drills and Lectures. The first official order of the day is singing the Nigerian anthem, reciting the pledge, and then singing the NYSC anthem. Trust me, by the 4th day in camp, you'll be sick and tired of said anthems - especially the NYSC anthem, which is sung before AND after EVERY SINGLE program. After that's taken care of, the platoon on duty is responsible for prayers and meditation. Beforehand, the platoon leaders would have selected a Christian and Muslim representative to lead in prayers. The meditation is a short poem/essay written by another representative in the platoon. The general topic has something to do with Nigeria and/or NYSC.

After meditation, the corpers are addressed by the Camp Director or other official in charge. Here's where the schedule for the day's read aloud, and corpers are scolded for bad behavior from the night before (lol). Then it's time for physical training by the soldiers. Now, I don't know about other camps, but in Lagos, all we did were light calisthenics - quite disappointing if you ask me. Physical training goes on for about 20 to 30 minutes, after which it's time to sing and dance a la Man 'O' War staff. Most people enjoy this portion :)

Next up is lecture time! Now, it can be a series of back-to-back lectures, or one looooooooooooong lecture on whatever. Topics range from Language (they teach you simple phrases in the dominant language of the region) and Health to Community Development and more. You may or may not catch up on sleep at this point.

7:30am - 9:00am: Breakfast Time! After lectures, corpers are released for breakfast. If you haven't taken a bath, now's the ideal time because while the early morning meditation's going on, the bathrooms are being cleaned. Besides, you may sweat during the physical activity, so... I quickly learned to wait until this time to bathe. If you want to wash your clothes, now's a good time to get it done too.

9:00am - 12/1/2:00pm: Not another round of lectures?!?!?! This is the second most painful part of the day. You will be subjected to hours and hours of lectures. I don't know if you've noticed, but the art of public speaking is quite absent in Nigeria. People like to talk, hearing their voices, while delivering little to no pertinent information. You should attend with a friend, book, phone, hat to cover your face while you sleep off; if you're genuinely interested in the topic, it's advisable to have a pen and notebook for notes.

12/1/2:00pm - 4:00pm: Lunch and Personal Administration. This is downtime and very needed. You can take a nap; have lunch; complete "chores and errands" you have; hang out with friends; read a book; watch people; participate in any platoon activities if interested; make phone calls; etc. Really, it's a good time of day IF you can keep yourself entertained in one way or another. If you're bored with nothing to do, you'll hate yourself, camp, NYSC, Nigeria, and whoever talked you into signing up.

4:00pm - 6:00pm: Marching! BYYYYYYYYYY THE RIGHT, QUICK MARCH TIME, LEFT RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT, HALT! I quite enjoyed marching. Lol, I was actually made my platoon commander because I apparently have a commanding voice - *giggles* Lil' ol' me? Commanding? HECK YEAH!

6:00pm - 8:00pm: Dinner. Yes, it's time to eat again and more down-time to shower, have dinner, go to fellowship if you've joined one, etc. At this point, the "bad" corpers head over to Mami Market for a jolly good time. Food, drinks, dancing, gisting, hanging out...that's really it.

8:00pm - 10:00pm: See above. There's really no difference, unless there's a general camp activity, e.g. Drama and Dance competition, Miss Camp pageant, Welcome Party, etc.

Night aka practically Hell
10:00pm: LIGHTS OUT! I hated having to go to sleep every night. Remember what my bed/room situation was like. Having to lie in that uncomfortable bed, in the heat, without my close friends/family was as good as Hell to me. If you're lucky, you fall asleep as soon as you hit the bed. If you're like me, you stay awake for the next hour praying to God to knock you out, cursing the very idea of NYSC, crying for the comfort of home, until mercifully you drift off into sleep... I hope you prayed to sleep THROUGH the night. God forbid you wake up because you're covered in sweat, or you can feel the mosquitoes chomping away on your body!


Really, camp isn't that bad. Well, at night it is. During the day, it's not. Some people got passes to leave and would only come in the daytime - lucky sissies that they are!!! But you are a die-hard like me with Tiger blood running through our veins, ready to conquer anything and everything like Chuck Norris... This is where I stop.

Hugs until next time!
Berry.